“Your marriage is JUST between you and your spouse and no one can give insight into it except the two of you”
This is a prime example of weird marriage advice that our culture has learned to just “accept” as gospel truth, and it’s not the truth. At all. You cannot solve a problem from the state in which you created it, period. Here’s a new truth for you to consider that I have seen as the foundation for HUGE growth, healing and reconciliation in countless marriages now:
“It’s okay to let those around you know that your marriage is struggling”
Yes, see, there, someone said it.
Here’s the thing….I believe one of the BIGGEST reasons why marriages are failing is that we’re more worried about what people will think than we are about our actual marriage.
So let me put your mind at ease for just a moment…
Every single couple you see out there experiences the occasional “snag” – it simply all comes down to their perspective on that snag. Having an incredible marriage is LESS about how many snags you experience and MORE about how quickly, easily and HUMBLY you shift out of the snag and back into flow/bliss. Rachel and I have learned that we can pivot our “conflict” into “learning opportunities” and when you do this, what used to be a negative, is now a positive. When you resist seeing your “snags” as opportunities for growth, marriage can seem like a downward spiral. When you see them as learning opportunities, marriage becomes a FUN way to become more whole.
Because guess what? There is literally no issue, snag, hang-up, etc, that you’re experiencing that cannot be solved if you’re both WILLING to solve it. God designed marriage to be this beautiful process of healing, connection and creativity….the main question is this:
Are you willing to experience more aliveness and joy in your marriage by becoming honest about what’s going on?